Inspiration Liquor
by efemanatepixie
Summary: Howard's got creative block and is giving the Nabootique a negative vibe. But when a potion goes wrong, his poetry's better than ever. Is this a good thing?
1. Creative Drought

Howard and Vince were sitting in the shop, even though it had shut half an hour ago. Vince was sitting in a 80's beanbag which had been brought in that day, reading Cheekbone, whist Howard attempted to write poetry.

After his fifth attempt went wrong, Howard threw his biro down in frustration. Vince laughed as pen cracked into tiny pieces. After glaring at him for a minute, Howard stormed upstairs straight past Naboo and Bollo, without noticing them.

"What's wrong with him?" Naboo asked.

"I think he's got _creative drought._" Vince replied.

"Why were you laughing at him?"

"To annoy him, but the angry look on his face when his pen broke was _priceless_!" Vince told him, chuckling at the memory.

Naboo bent down to pick up the shards of Howard's pen.

"Bollo, get us the Inspiration Liquor from the cupboard, will you?"

The anthropoid ape lumbered over to the medicine cabinet and took out a bottle of black liquid. He gave it to Naboo.

"Right," He put two droplets on to the remains of Howard's pen, which repaired itself instantly.

"If he's miserable, he gives the shop a negative vibe. He'll be happy if he can write good poetry thus giving the shop a positive vibe." He explained as he reached for the stopper.

Suddenly, Bollo ran past Naboo, causing him to spill rest of his potion on Howard's pen, which absorbed it immediately.

"Bollo, you numbskull! What did you do that for?" Naboo shouted.

"Cupboard door was open." Bollo said, closing it. "Don't want to get robbed again."

"Well, it's caused a cataclysm! If an excessive amount of that stuff is used, the user will become over-confident and a danger to themselves!" Naboo told them. "What can we do?"


	2. For the ninth time, NO!

"_**I don't know. That's his only pen and he doesn't use pencils." Vince replied, slightly worried.**_

_**Before they could think of a course of action, Howard stomped in.**_

"_**Ah, my pen's fixed. I'll give that poem one last try." He said to himself. And then, to everyone's horror; he began to write.**_

_**The words flowed from his mind to his pen as smooth as clockwork. Within ten minutes, he'd written a page-long poem using remarkable words many people had forgotten. He read it through. "That's…the best poem I've ever written."**_

"_**He doesn't seem over-confident." Vince said to Naboo in the flat.**_

"_**Well he will be. His new-found lyrical talent will go to his head, and he'll care about nothing else." Naboo told him. "Soon, he'll forget who he is. To him, he'll just be Howard Moon, lyrical genius. He'll forget that he works in this shop. And, he'll forget that jazz exists, it's that strong."**_

"_**Can't we just get the pen back off him?" Vince asked, anxiety growing.**_

"_**It will start to absorb whoever touches it. We'd have to get someone who didn't have anything to lose to take it from him." Naboo said.**_

"_**What can we do until we find someone?" Vince queried, worry clear in his voice.**_

"_**Try talking to him. Maybe you can distract him from writing."**_

"_**OK"**_

"_**Hey Howard." Vince said, sitting down next to Howard.**_

"_**Muh." was Howard's reply.**_

"_**Watcha writing?" He asked.**_

"_**Poem."**_

"_**Can I read it?"**_

"_**Muh."**_

_**Vince sighed. This was gonna take a while.**_

_**Meanwhile, Naboo was trying to think of what to do. Who had nothing to lose?**_

"_**Lester Cornflakes?" Bollo suggested.**_

"_**For the ninth time, NO! He's dead, remember?" Naboo reminded him, annoyed.**_

_**Think, think…**_

"_**Dennis?" Bollo said.**_

"_**You've already said that, NO!" Naboo shouted. "But…He might be able to help."**_

_**He went to his room, picked up his phone and called Dennis.**_

"_**Hello, Head Shaman." came Dennis' phone greeting.**_

"_**Hey Dennis, it's Naboo."**_

"_**Oh, hello Naboo. How may I help you?"**_

"_**Thanks to Bollo, I've accidentally overdosed Inspiration Liquor in a pen, but before I could remove it, Howard Moon picked it up. Can you help us out?"**_

"_**Yeah, I'll be there in about two hours. See you then."**_


	3. Pretty Please with Cherries and Cream

"**Please can I read it?" Vince asked for the fifth time.**

"**Muh" Howard replied.**

"**Please?"**

"**Muh."**

"**Pretty please with cherries and cream?"**

"**Muh."**

**Vince groaned. This was going nowhere. Then the idea struck him.**

"**Look! Roger Mcgough!" Vince yelled, pointing out the window.**

"**Where?" Howard asked looking up.**

**Vince snatched the paper.**

"**Oi! Give that back!" Howard shouted, **_**dropping the pen**_**!**

"**Neh neh neh-neh neh!" Vince jeered, running around the shop.**

"**GIVE THAT BACK!!!!" Howard demanded, chasing Vince around the shop, but Vince was faster.**

"**NEVER!!!!" Vince replied dramatically.**

**There was a knock on the skylight.**

"**That'll be Dennis." Naboo said, opening the skylight with a pole.**

"**Ok, let's sort this mess out." Dennis said, once he was inside.**

"**Right, from the noises I can hear from downstairs, Vince has Howard distracted." Naboo told him. "Any ideas?"**

"**Why don't we do a purification ritual?"**

"**But aren't they really complicated?" Naboo queried. "And don't you need four shamen for that?"**

"**I can do them really well and I'm sure Saboo and Kirk can get here quickly." Dennis explained.**

"**OK, I'll go get the things we need. Can you write me a list?"**

"**Yep. It'll be quite long, but you can get it all at the shopping centre." Dennis informed.**

**Vince was standing on the shop counter. He was just light enough to stand on it without breaking it. Howard was too heavy. Vince smiled as he held Howard's unfinished poem above his head, out of Howard's reach.**

"**I'm warning you, Vince. Give it back or I'll be forced to get violent." Howard said threateningly.**

"**I'd like to see you try." Vince said seriously.**

**As Howard went to climb onto the counter, Vince reminded him. "Naboo will make you pay for a new counter if you break this one."**

**Howard slumped down onto the beanbag in defeat.**

"**Please Vince, give it back…" He asked desperately.**

"**I'll give it back to you on one condition." Vince said.**

"**What?" Howard asked hopefully.**

"**Use a different biro."**


	4. Purification Ritual

"**No, I won't use another biro for two reasons. One: I think that biro's lucky, and Two: I only own one." Howard explained.**

"**Well, until you get another pen, I'll be keeping this then." Vince replied, putting the poem in his jacket pocket and zipping it closed.**

**Howard got up and paced the shop, thinking, while Vince sat on the counter, reading Cheekbone.**

**After half an hour, Naboo and Bollo carried the last of the ingredients from the roof, where they'd landed the carpet.**

"**Hurry it up, Naboo!" Saboo instructed.**

"**That's all of it," Naboo said. "All ten bags."**

"**Ok, everyone, start piling these ingredients into that cauldron, no order needed." Dennis told the group.**

*******

**After ten minutes, it was all in there.**

"**OK, Naboo, go get a litre of water." Saboo ordered.**

"**I already did that."**

"**Well get another one, there isn't enough water in there."**

"**Yes there is, Saboo. Can someone get the pen? We need it now." Kirk told them.**

"**Bollo do it." Bollo said, grabbing a pair of sugar tongs from the kitchen.**

"**Oh, hey Bollo." Vince smiled as Bollo walked downstairs.**

**Bollo said nothing, but grabbed Howard's biro with the sugar tongs. As he walked back upstairs, he gave Vince a quick smile.**

**As soon as he was gone, Vince gave Howard his poem back. "There you go." He said.**

"**Thanks. Will you please explain to me what is happening?"**

"**Right. I'll explain…"**

**Bollo walked into the room, holding the pen at arms length.**

"**Thanks Bollo. Drop it in there." Naboo pointed to the cauldron. "We've set it up. It should be ready."**

**Bollo nodded, and dropped the pen into the cauldron.**

**Silence at first, then it started to bubble.**

**The cauldron exploded. When the smoke cleared, the pen was lying there, undamaged, but back to normal.**

"**I'd better go and help Vince explain to Howard what's going on." Naboo said, as he walked downstairs.**


	5. Explainations

"_**Ok, where to start…right. When your pen broke and you stormed upstairs, Naboo noticed that you were miserable. So, he got something called Inspiration Liquor and put a tiny bit on your pen. He said that it would help you write poetry and then you wouldn't give the shop a negative aura." Vince explained.**_

_**Naboo came downstairs holding the pen in the sugar tongs.**_

"_**Then," He said, putting the pen down carefully, "That stupid ape hurried past me, making me spill the whole bottle on your pen. An overdose of that stuff causes over-confidence and the person is a danger to themselves. Just as we were trying to think of what to do, you came in and picked up the cursed biro."**_

"_**I see. But the pen's alright now." Howard said after a moment.**_

"_**It should be. It's over here." Naboo replied, pointing to the pen.**_

"_**Thanks." Howard approached the pen. It looked completely normal so he picked it up.**_

_**Suddenly, he felt dizzy. He tried to drop the pen, but he couldn't.**_

"_**Howard? Howard, are you ok?" Vince asked worriedly.**_

_**Howard didn't reply. It seemed that the pen had taken over his actions completely.**_

"_**HELP! This pen's still infected!" He shouted inside his head, but no-one could hear him.**_

"_**The ritual didn't work!" Naboo realised. "I wonder what went wrong?" He headed towards the stairs.**_

"_**NABOO!" Vince screamed, like a banshee. "You can't leave him like this!"**_

_**Naboo ignored him. He was too busy trying to think of anything that they'd done wrong in the ritual. Remembering that he didn't know the ritual, he went upstairs to ask the other shamen.**_

_**Everything had gone dark. Howard was unsure what was happening. He could hear Vince saying "Howard! What's wrong?" repeatedly but he couldn't answer. There was something stopping him from talking or moving. He felt his consciousness slipping…**_

**Upstairs, Naboo was confused and furious at the same time. He was confused because the ritual was unsuccessful and furious because Dennis, Saboo and Kirk had left without telling him. They were gone when he needed them most. He looked around the flat. There must some way of telling what went wrong. He went to the living room, where they'd performed the ceremony. There, in the middle of the floor, was an old, crumpled piece of parchment. He picked it up. Upon it, in swirly writing, was a poem.**

_**For this curse that I have placed**_

_**There is no cure in apparent sight**_

_**The only way to heal this blight**_

_**Horrendous verse this man must write**_

**Naboo sighed deeply. The curse **_**prevented **_**bad poetry but the only way to cure it was to write awful poetry. There was no clear way to cure it. As he approached the stairs he thought "This is gonna take a Vince Noir miracle."**


	6. Tipex

"NABOO" Vince screeched as soon as the shaman appeared down the stairs. "What were you doing?!! Howard's just collapsed and he won't wake up! WHAT DO WE DO?!"

"Alright, no need to shout. I just found this upstairs." He handed the parchment to Vince, who read it quickly.

"How are we gonna do that? He can't write crappy poetry with that demon inside him!"

"I know! What _I _suggest we do is find a biro that looks the same as that one, then get an idiot to swap them for us." Naboo suggested.

"Hang on, isn't the demon thingy already inside Howard?" Vince realised.

"Yes, but if we get rid of the pen then it should be weaker. So we just need to find a numbskull to do it for us."

"But who would be stupid enough to do that?"

Then, after a moment, Vince and Naboo looked at each other and said simultaneously "Bob Fossil."

Bob Fossil was panting over stains on his suit with Tipex then colouring them blue with a crayon when Vince rushed in.

"Fossil-you-gotta-help-me!" He said in one breath, following the script Naboo had taught him.

"Wha-" Fossil cried, spilling Tipex all over his suit.

"There's some of my special glitter in Howard's biro and I can't get it out! Can you smash it for me?"

"OK, where is it?"

"It's still at the shop. I didn't want to risk dropping it down a drain."

"Ok, when this Tipex dries, I'll come help ya."

"Thanks" Vince left the room. As soon as he was outside, he started giggling. "What an idiot!" He laughed.

Naboo had just finished inserting the glitter into the pen with a syringe when Vince returned.

"Is he coming?"

"Yep." Vince replied, kicking the pen into the middle of the floor "Does that look like it was just dropped there?" He asked.

Naboo nodded. "Ok, let's move Howard so he doesn't look suspicious."

They both went to pick him up off of the shop floor. "God he's heavy." Vince moaned, nearly dropping his best friend.

"I know. Let's just shift him quickly." Naboo replied.

It took them fifteen minutes to carry him upstairs to the sofa, where they dropped him with a thud.

"Naboo?" Vince asked as they caught their breath. "Suppose destroying the pen doesn't work. What will we do?"

Naboo shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. We'll figure something out."

There was a knock at the door.

"That'll be the numbskull."


End file.
